So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he thought i was a dude.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize