who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
