i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize