The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
