O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just found puke in my bra..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
