we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
