So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
