evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Where is the hickey?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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