He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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