yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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