they need to just BURY HIM!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
