Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
