She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
