just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
