I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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