I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
