how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
