is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
love makes seman taste better
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
