try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
