Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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