I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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