last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
