I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
