$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
my liver is dry heaving
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
