New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
