Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I haven't been this sober since birth.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
