I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
