New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize