hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
