And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
