I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
