pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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