Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
