I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dick very happy bro
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