Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
