u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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