my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
