The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize