I saw his package. It spoke to me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
