It's Friday. Sex?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
