I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
