My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
