so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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