Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
