what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
