Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
