well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
