So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
