he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
