somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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