He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
