problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
