it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
