Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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