My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
