You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
