i was born a porn star she said
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
