She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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