I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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