i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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